The first relationship is the one we have to our selves, and the first key to intimacy is to like oneself. Their is little to no foundation for loving others when we don't have the ground of friendliness, acceptance, compassion, and gratitude that comes from the experience of liking oneself.
The second key is being able to appreciate others. When we appreciate others we can separate ourselves from the object of our love, and see them as they are, and then truly celebrate their uniqueness.
The third key is to be open to change. This applies whether you are in an established relationship or a developing one. Change is a constant in life, whether we are conscious of it or not, so rather than constantly moving away from our fears of being alone and unloved, why not move towards what is whole, nurturing and loving inside and around us. Move from change to deliberate change. Change on purpose, for the purpose of intimacy.
The fourth and most crucial key, is to be ready to grow. Intimacy is the experience of love, its nature is boundless, like our capacity for love. We will always be moving to greater levels of intimacy to ourselves, others and the world around us. As the poet Rumi once said "Bite off the head of Fear."
In my coaching and work with clients the most common fear is that of intimacy. Relationship work is important, no matter what the relationship is.
Call me or email me to set up a free strategy session. From this we can see if we can work together towards your relationship goals.
mbm@fivechanges.org 310.339-3531
The artwork above is mine and illustrates a line from my father's poem titled "The other universe" in which it says, "The sky's dress is ten thousand shades of blue" my art website is www.michelebenzaminmiki.com
